On Complaining, The Outer Face of Resentment

Complaining -- the outer face of resentment -- is a 'hanging on bite' (A Fritz Perls and Gestalt expression).

Solve the problem, resolve the conflict, and you 'chew through' the complaint. The complaint ceases to exist.

Some people would sooner expend more energy dwelling on the same complaint, over and over again, ad nauseam, than solve the problem, and/or address the appropriate person, make good contact with the appropriate person, negotiate things through -- and resolve the conflict.

Of course, you need the other person(s) to want to resolve the conflict with you in a way that works for both of you. But even here, in the face of disagreement and struggle, at least there is a transparency to the conflict that brings you closer to its potential resolution.

Buried, the complaint, the problem, the conflict, detracts from the forward progress of the relationship, poisons it, sabotages it, destroys it...

Confronted -- and addressed properly from both sides -- the 'hanging on gestalt' can be negotiated from a Hegelian dialectic (thesis, anti-thesis, synthesis) perspective, and with 'good will' and 'good creativity' usually 'resolved' in a 'win-win' manner, freeing both of you to move the relationship forward in a more positive direction.

To repeat, the complaint -- the hanging on bite and gestalt -- has been chewed through until it has been 'properly metabolized' -- and no one is left with 'psychic indigestion'.

-- dgb, Oct. 3rd, 2009.

-- David Gordon Bain

On Dialectic Paradox, Health, Pathology, Evolution, Alienation and Integration

Man's 'mind-brain-body' is like a swimming pool full of dichotomies, paradoxes, multiple bi-polarities, desires, restraints, too many desires and not enough restraints, or not enough desires and too many restraints, too much planning or not enough planning, too much thinking or not enough thinking, too aggressive or too approval-seeking, and on and on we could go...

We swim -- and sometimes drown -- in this swimming pool full of dichotomies, paradoxes, bipolarities and oftentimes, underlying hypocrisies or 'dissociated, disconnected, alienated ego-states' in the personality that are not properly integrated into the rest of the personality, into the 'whole of the personality'.

The goal of most dialectic bi-polar psychotherapies -- Psychoanalysis, Jungian Psychology, Gestalt Therapy, Transactional Analysis -- including this DGB approach here, is to help bring about more 'wholistic multi-dialectic, multi-bi-polar, integration' both inside and outside of the personality.

-- dgb, Sept. 27th, 2009.

Evolution -- is 'multiple-bi-polar-dialectic-evolution'. Everything comes about either from 'power over' or from 'integrative union'. Where destruction or anhiliation is not the goal, the second type of evolution among men -- integrative union -- usually works much better with far less human tragedy, traumacy, 'insurgency', and casualties. Not all of the time but most of the time -- dgb, Sept. 27th, 2009.

Physical and psycho-pathology are differentiated -- but similar -- in that they both need to be located on a continuum of a multitude of swinging pendulums of health, balance ('The Golden Mean', 'The Middle Path' -- Aristotle) vs. extremism, extreme swings of the pendulum -- and the resulting physical and/or psycho-pathology that comes with extremism over the edge and into the darkest abyss of humanity, non-humanity, and/or ultimately death.

-- dgb, Sept. 27th, 2009.

Your Dinner Won't Come To You...

You can wait a long time by the river before a roasted duck will fly into your mouth.

(Quoted from facebook...)

Two Hands Clapping...

Two hands clapping are better than one hand clapping air...

-- dgb, Sept. 19th, 2009.

-- David Gordon Bain

On Self-Advancement Thwarted by Self-Negation

Self-advancement is sabotaged by self-negation. Plain and simple. For every one step forward we take in our mind, we second guess ourselves, and backtrack to where we started. Advancement -- nowhere. Zilch.

I found this following quote in a Business Depot outlet -- and it gets at the same point and the same problem in a different manner.

'The block of granite which was an obstacle in the path of the weak, becomes a stepping stone in the path of the strong.' (Unknown author)


Here's to 'stepping stones' and to not turning back once we have determined the direction of our desired 'self-advancement' -- regardless of the 'obstacles' in front of us.

-- dgb, Sept. 9th, 2009.

-- David Gordon Bain,

-- Dialectic Gap-Bridging Negotiations...

-- Are still in process...


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Ode to the Unknown Reader -- Tusar N. Mohapatra, Aug. 1st, 2007.

I found this writer -- and his work -- connected to my own work on another website, and from there, a link to his own blogsite. -- dgb, Mar. 21st, 2009.

.............................................................................

Tusar N. Mohapatra

Tusar N. Mohapatra

SRA-102-C, Shipra Riviera, Indirapuram, Ghaziabad, U.P. - 201014, Ph: 0120-2605636, 2815130, India
President, Savitri Era Party. [Savitri Era of those who adore, Om Sri Aurobindo & The Mother.] Director, Savitri Era Learning Forum. [SELF posits a model of counselling and communicative action as an instrument in order to stimulate the public sphere. The model aims at supplementing the individual’s struggle for a successful social adjustment with more aspirational inputs so as to help one take an informed and balanced attitude towards life as well as society.] tusarnmohapatra@gmail.com
View my complete profile


Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Ode to the Unknown Reader

You come visiting every now and then
Either by some chance or by volition
May be several times within a day
And like to linger a little over there.

Must be due to some sly affinity
Like companionship in a sweet dream
Or the caress of a stealthy lover
Then you too leave, often without comments.

No appointments or answering doorbells
And we meet, talk, ruminate over things
Agreements or many disagreements
Your silent feelings inspire my next post.

Many are too restless to stay awhile
And leave the singe of their troubled psyche
But I refuse to be infected by angst
Or any agnostic peroration.

In the new world: I blog, therefore I am
Perhaps we equally need each other
More so for me, the belief that you exist
And in the frequency of your visits.

I sleep, I walk, I swim but still I am
Abroad in the expanse of cyberspace
Anticipation of your sweet footfall
Simmers forever in my tremulous heart.
[Wed-050706]
Posted by Tusar N Mohapatra at 6:00 PM
5 comments:
Anonymous said...
I come and go

I come and go,
Unseen and unknown,
for having a touch
of your mind and heart,
of your soul,
as beyond Time and Space,
at the Omega Point,
we have met and we are One,
and we are on the march
on the same way,
towards the same Goal :
The New Horizon

Yes and No...From 1999 In The 'Gap-DGB' Archives...

This 'pseudo-poem', written by me about 1999, builds from the Fritz Perls 'Gestalt Prayer'...extending it a little further -- dgb, March 21-22, 2009.


Yes and No

I am I.
And you are you.
I am not you,
And you are not me,
This should seem obvious,
But it's not.
A bird wasn't meant to be a fish.
And a fish wasn't meant to be a bird.
This should seem obvious,
But it's not.

It all starts with authentic choice-making,
With the choice between 'yes' and 'no'.
'Yes' to state my interest, my attraction,
My likes, my wishes, my passion...
And 'no' to state my dislikes, my boundaries...

To respect another person means to respect their interests,
Their attractions, their likes, their wishes, their passions,
And it means respecting their dislikes, their boundaries,

Not to respect a person's wishes and boundaries,
Their freedom to make an authentic choice,
Even though we may not like this personal choice,
Is not to respect the person,
The person's individual differences.

Let's all respect each other,
Respect each other's individual right,
And our own individual right,
To make our own authentic choices,
And to be accountable for wherever they take us...

From moment to moment,
Transaction to transaction,
Encounter to encounter,
To say 'yes' or 'no',
And to mean it.

-- dgb, Undated (Written approximately in 1999, slightly modified and updated March 21st-22nd, 2009.)

-- David Gordon Bain

I Write Fast...'To Deliver The Baby'...

I write fast to stay in touch with my passion.

I apologize for any 'technical imperfections' -- imperfect spelling and/or grammar. Maybe an editor will come along some day and fix these mistakes.

To paraphrase one of President Obama's sayings...

Let not my pursuit of 'the perfect essay' sabotage my efforts in delivering the publication of as many'pragmatically and/or emotionally important' essays as I can possibly write.

I need to write fast to -- 'deliver the baby', the essay, as quickly as possible -- to keep up with my continually evolving interests, challenges, and passions.

-- dgb, March 19th, 2009.

-- David Gordon Bain

Never Say Never

Never say never...one never knows what direction life is going to take us in next...

Either by coincidence...by fate...and/or by intentionality..

They all tend to meet on the shores of our personality movement and directionality...

On the shores of our personal transference complexes...

Coincidence...fate...and...intentionality...all coming together in one 'existential package'...

Being and becoming...

The cliff...the abyss...and the cliff on the other side...

With DGB Philosophy attempting to build another bridge across another abyss...

My 'little philosophy package' for tonight...

-- dgb, March 11th, 2009

-- David Gordon Bain